Woah Woah!

2008-08-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

due to the messy screwed up problems in my blog concerning the HTML,

IVE MOVED!!!

pls click on the 3 words below:
MY NEW BLOG

2008-08-09T06:56:00.000-07:00

sry it been a while since i blogged.

2nd-7th Aug 08 (Sat-Thurs)

forgotten what happened.

8th Aug 08 (Fri)
had ND celebration at bishan stadium and we were supposed to form a heart shape while holding hands at bishan park saying the pledge. however, we didnt and time drove on by singing songs. took mrt home with ale and had a really great

new song:
Michelle Williams -Do you Know

Hope u like it!

sigh of relief...

2008-08-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

feeling so happy today. even though ive just disgraced myself, i thank the Lord that i worried over a pack of lies. i should learn how not to jump into conclusions any longer!!! :D

stuck at the crossroads...

2008-08-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

why am i so gutless!!! it is my nature to be quiet, not COWARDY. i also know that im very obtuse coz im scared of being 'bhb'. im a quiet person by nature and i realized aft 2years that being myself was the only thing i can do as i paid the expensive price for going against my intergrity and now, im too timid to face through such a thing that a guy should be brave abt. im afraid of hurting ppl and my heart and my mind are saying things contradicting each other. when joy exists, hurt exists as well. im scared of hurting ppl...

2008-08-01T01:42:00.000-07:00

hi! blogging in school now... boring day, nth much happening. oh ya happy bday mel!!!

hybernation

2008-07-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

yo! sry i havent been using the comp for 8 days 22 hours 36 mins and 40 seconds as i had plenty to do and errands to run and of course, schoolwork which nvr fail to come into my sch life every single day.

23rd-25th Jul 08(Wed-Fri)
nothing much happened i guess...

26th Jul 08(Sat) went to church and the programme on LTF was bible study and learning on how to have a soft, meek heart towards others. i guess that we should just treat those who are disliking/feeling disgusted with us equally as the others as we are doing the right thing.

27th Jul 08(Sun)
went to baptism class with russell today and boy was it a great theory of chimology!!! however, russell and i were able to understand it and im glad that he is by my side going through this time!!!
now.
28-29th Jul 08(Mon-Tues)
oops! forgotten what happened...

30th Jul 08(Wed)
wahh!!! today i saw many of my classmates being publicized on the papers, gwendoline and patricia, SNTM!!! lol

to chelle and cheryling:
i may look as if i have moved on but i really feel as if there is an emptiness inside me. i do want to redeem my friendship with you but i dont know how to approach you as im afraid things would go wrong and i might say insensitive words. i really want us to reunite but you may think otherwise. although i wont be expecting much recounciliation, i will hold on to frail hope and strong faith that even if the chances are slim, it isnt impossible. call me disgraceful, but if there is ever a second chance, i would grab it and make the best of it.

2008-07-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

19th Jul 08 (Sat)
went for LTF and the message was 'dont be so EMO!!!'. and i felt that the message was so rejuvinating as even though we face through crap 24/7, we still need to remember how much God has given us and as a christian, we must always be 'slow to anger'. another thing that ive learnt ia that 'YOU CAN ONLY BE ANGRY WITHOUT SINNING WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY AT SIN'

20th Jul 08 (Sun)
when to watch 'the dark knight' with my siblings and i have to say that christian bale is indeed the BEST BATMAN EVER!!!

21st Jul 08 (Mon)
super long post(will edit)...

22nd Jul 08 (Today)
today songs during chapel were really nice,and i felt 'from the inside out' and re-touched me on how God helps me by bringing me bountiful blessings but also difficult yet meaningful trials and most importantly, a second chance to start over again. needa slp liaoz buenos noches!!! :)

2008-07-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

a lot of ppl have been extremely down lately. this week ive seen many heartaches and heartbreaks and im one example. however, i thank the the Lord for pullng me through and pulling everyone i love through the week. true enough, we often worry that things will not turn the way we want them to thats why we think too much until satan make us grovel in submission to our fears and sometimes we fear over things we dont exist. having faith in God after doing your best is all you need to help you through. if things fail, just know that God works in mysterious ways. during recess this week ive been going to the counselling room to play with the tower of hanoi.

Rules:

Only one disk may be moved at a time.
Each move consists of taking the upper disk from one of the pegs and sliding it onto another rod, on top of the other disks that may already be present on that rod.
No disk may be placed on top of a smaller disk.

i thank the Lord for coming to know this game as ive learnt nvr to regret making the correct decisions and if i make a wrong move, i can always turn back and start over. trust yourself but importantly trust the Lord that even when you are down you will prevail eventually.

Luke 21:14
Settle it therefore in your hearts not to meditate beforehand what ye shall answer.

2008-07-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

14th Jul 08 (Tues)
had chapel and the message was on 'satanic music' and surprisingly, the pastor said that 'apologize' was a satanic song. the moment i heard that i was thinking woah, but on second thought, i felt that it is true as it talks abt unforgiveness which is sinful.

16-17th Jul 08 (Wed- Thurs)
bad days for quite a lot of ppl, but it was sure a joyful one.

18th Jul 08 (Today)
quite a rough day, but thank God that i managed to stand up right after i stumbled. playing the piano during english was something that relieved my mind and to cheer me up i got 36/50 for my english test!!! later during class fellowship, rictus shared a really sincere, down-to-earth testi on how God transformed him and i felt touched that he would be so bold to share it. :D

2008-07-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

10th Jul 08 (Thurs)
boring day...

11th Jul 08 (Fri)
another boring day in school. went to have lunch with darren and shengwei aft sch at dover market. had lotsa fun chatting!!! i took the 74 home later with darren while shengwei goes back to school.

12th Jul 08 (Sat)
church was fun!!! and it was great seeing johnL as we managed to talked through abt what happened in the week. after all, he is my closest friend in church for now. hopefully the future will be as gd as the present. when i came home my CRAZY MOTHER will not let us have dinner unless we watch 'eight below' and everyone was appalled by her forceful action!!! :D lol

13th Jul 08 (Sun)
another boring day. after church and lunch, i came home and study. in the evening, i went swimming.

14th Jul 08 (Today)
its just another day...

2008-07-09T08:09:00.000-07:00

8th Jul 08 (Yesterday)
boring day... not only that but the rain made me felt even more down -__-

9th Jul 08 (Today)
how i appreciate the golden silence God has given me today, it was so peaceful and boy do i feel relaxed. slackied during lessons and since mrstoh needed to examine the Ns EL oral, we spent the last period free. i feel so left out(probably coz im scared to reach out), but thank God that aletheia and sarah were having their free period and my heart soon began floating up again as i needed my best friends' comfort and advice to get through difficult situations. talked abt plastic surgery and s'porean artistes and nonetheless, laughed along with crazy RAH-RAH!!! lol. love them :)

~~to chelle and cheryling:~~
i hope to redeem this friendship back to the way it was, hope with can start over

2008-07-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

dug out some photos from my hp of what i did in may and june...

studied with joy and rah-rah

celebrated ale's bday!!!

how i wish i could do it all over again...

2008-07-07T00:14:00.000-07:00

6th Jul 08 (Yesterday)
boring day...

7th Jul 08 (Today)
spent the whole day at home doing homework and revision on youth day, how youthful is that...

5th Jul 08

2008-07-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

5th Jul 08 (Sat)
spent the entire day at the funfair. spent the entire morning setting up the stall then went off to play with 大姐大 and rah-rah till the afternoon... when my shift started, boy was it busy and esp at the last half an hour when we couldnt sell finish the ice-cream, missyeo then tell us to give it out to everyone for FOC!!! had lots of un playing games and selling the food :D!!!

大姐大 and i

me and rah-rah!!!

abigail and the cheryls

mr sim getting dunked

CLASS 4F'08!!!

2008-07-04T08:06:00.002-07:00

ive changed to another song again...

1) Bianca Ryan- And I'm telling You

one of my favourite songs which i sing it almost everyday, if you see me walking down the streets you will without a doubt see me singing this. hear the song yourself and see why i like it!!!

2008-07-04T08:06:00.001-07:00

2008-07-04T04:27:00.000-07:00

i feel so insignificant in class now, i dont know how to start a friendship anymore. i just want to retrieve what i have lost and i dont know how to do that. i do not want to be 不要脸 at the same time and i think that im losing even more courage. I REALLY WANNA REDEEM THIS FRIENDSHIP WHY DON"T I HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO IT!!! I JUST WANT A CLOSE CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP IN CLASS, can't i be forgiven??? i lost and tired, but im not letting go. how i wish friendship is just an O-lvl exam where there are formulas and facts you needa memorize it and then just sit for that exam, and you get an A1!!! it such a pity that intuition isnt so stable...

fear is taking control over me

2008-07-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

now that chinese oral is over, i feel even more relieve. now all i can think abt is where have i gone wrong in all my failures in friendship, was it just depression, self-obsessed thoughts and doubt? i know that i commit my best in friendship but i feel scared to open up. im back to the shy person i was back in primary school, im afraid of talking to ppl. however, ive prayed strongly and persistently that i would be able to make up with the two of them, but im afraid i dont have enough courage to really ask them for a chance at redemption. i feel as if im holding on to a shaky branch of a tree not knowing whether i will land on a bed of roses or a bunch of vines. im scared of being alone nxt yr, im scared of opening up and im scared of losing friends in the first place. but without any pain in relationships, there would no joy in it either. im caught in the middle, not knowing what to do to redeem this friendship that i sincerely treasure...

3rd Jul 08

2008-07-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

29th June 08 (Sunday)
dajie and erjie just came back from aussie!!! spent the night at taka with them, had crystal jade for dinner and read books at kino.

30th June 08 (Monnday)
happy bday karyn!!! gave karyn and pat their bday presents! :)

2nd Jul 08 (Tuesday)
stayed back aft sch today to decorate the banners for the funfair and i had a great time time there!!!

3rd Jul 08 (Wednesday)
BORING DAY!!! felt so alone and lost this day. thankfully, we had free period during english so i met up with 大姊大, sarah and cherylA. it still gd that your best friend is still in school but what will happen aft she is gone. i cant implicate others and cause them more probs just coz of my pressence...

4th Jul 08 (Thursday) O LVL CL ORAL EXAM!!! felt so nervous but thankfully miss yeo prayed for the whole class which calmed me down. oral was relatively easy, even though i had some probs with the conversation. k needa eat dinner already buenos noches!!!

2008-06-28T06:31:00.001-07:00

changed the song.

1)Kelly Clarkson- Breakaway

this song describes how im feeling towards school now :(

2008-06-28T05:55:00.000-07:00

just came back from church. the day was FUN!!! and i really felt like i bonded a lot more with the ppl there. maybe this is God's plan for me, to start bonding closer to church, and maybe thats why things go wrong in school. as much as ive moved on, i pray every single day for those who hurt mr and those that ive hurt for safety and protection and i seemed to be praying consistently for their probs they told me to be resolved. the bible says to 'love our enemies, and pray for those who persecute you' which also means that we not even allowed to dislike ppl let alone resent/hate. this trial im going through has probably been a great blessing in disguise as im now closer to my church and made even more new friends despite of my quiet self. i think this is God's purpose for doing this. even though the situation is gd in church, i will still pray that the situation(s) in class would improve as well. :D

2008-06-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

took a personality quiz and the results:

Love

2008-06-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

every single one has experience the word LOVE. it contains your heart will happiness but again it can be even more poisonous than the bee sting. in recent cases that ive known, it is shockingly saddening to see 2 close friends becoming completely strangers acting like they didnt even see each other in the first place. maybe that is why reason why hating someone is as hurting as loving someone, best friends soon become sworn-enemies. i find it so much better if i nvr gain anything coz the feeling of losing a friend is far worse than not starting that friendship in the first place. however, i still look for friendships and still in the mission to find love in them. as for the friendship ive lost, i hope that i will reclaim them back. problems are temporarily, but a friendship is a lifetime so if you are having any probs with your friends now, tell him/her nicely abt it in a serious yet kind tone and always remember to focus on the FEELINGS not the probs. this is what ive learnt.

first week of school...

2008-06-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

what can i say abt the first week of school... it has been difficult, long and grueling and this is the first time in 2 years thats the atmosphere in our class has been really tense. hope that the class will be together in harmony again :)!!!

2008-06-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

long week...not gna blog abt this week even though it has been wonderful but to my dismay, there is this word called S-C-H-O-O-L tmr :(. btw, ive changed the song on this blog.

1)Michael Buble- That's Life

this song really helps me stay on the bright side of life and tell me to be JOYFUL in all circumstances, be it happy or sad, and Life is just a journey filled with ups and downs and that is what every single one goes through, so if you are sad, take it easy!!! commit everything into God's hand and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!! :D

2008-06-17T01:54:00.000-07:00

15th June 08 (Sun)
went to church, ate lunch, came home and study...

16th June 08 (Mon)
spent the whole day at home. papa is in a bad mood :(

17th June 08 (Tues)
papa is still in a bad mood, stayed at home the entire day today.

the week...

2008-06-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

8th June 08 (Sunday)
totally forgotten what happened but happy bday pat! :)

9th-11th June 08 (Mon-Wed)
totally forgotten what happened, but it was boring.

12th June 08 (Thurs)
ALE'S BDAY!!! met joycelyn on the mrt and soon meet up aletheia and lil'sis for ice-skating. ice-skating was SCARY!!! not coz i was afraid of falling down but afraid of bumping into ppl. i had fun doing that though as it was the first time in my life i ever ice-skated! later, joycelyn and i went to eat our lunch at the kopitiam and ale and lil'sis tagged along. we soon met up with sarah and we watched 'prince casipian' and joycelyn went googoo-gaagaa saying how cute prince casipian was. took neoprint and ate dinner. took the MRT with joycelyn and sarah and then took a ride from sarah's mum home.

13th June 08 (FRIDAY THE 13TH)
boring day...

14th June 08 (Yesterday)
spent the whole day studying and watching 'jewel in the palace'.

my testimony

2008-06-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

7th June 08(Sat)
was supposed to prepare my testti for LTF as my CG, 'testmony', was supposed to be in charge of sharing or youy may call it P&W. johnL was supposed to lead in singing while jared and johnW was in charge of the games, which left me as the only one in my CG doing nothing, hence i was assigned to do the testimony. i spent the friday night thinking on how to make a speech as the bible says that we must 'commit everything we do with all our hearts'. in the end, i shared 2 verses in fellowship and since God says all gd things should be shared, i will be blogging abt this.

James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Micah 7: 9
Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the LORD's wrath,
until he pleads my case
and establishes my right.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness.

A lot of times when we face through problems, we feel tired, frustrated and sometimes even when you do your best, you get the worst in return. we always turn to God, expecting him to give an antidote which solves the problem you are facing in a second. however, the antidote only solves the problem we are facing through temporarily. in the end, the same problem will return as we soon realize that the antidote only stops the pain, not the problem. the problem inside us will soon continue to attack the rest of our body even without us realizing it. that is the main reason why God heals us through a long and painful treatment. God is giving us 'chemotherapy' where we sacrifice a lot for example our 'hair', just to get rid of our sinful, worldy habits and to strenghten our weaknesses. at the end of this painful treatment, not only God conform us even more but we also develop patience and self-control. so CONTINUE TO PERSERVERE!!!

another boring day...

2008-06-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

spent the day studying and then headed to the library and read some books.

ENDING OF MY 40 DAYS OF PURPOSE

2008-06-05T04:57:00.000-07:00

as ive come to the end of my 40-day program i did on my own, i felt that my life has change not from the outside but from the inside. these 40 days ive been through is definitely really really difficult and fighting against temptation and getting rid of my weaknesses is probably one of the biggest tasks that not just me, but everyone here on earth to accomplish. although im still unable to do that, i can see that i actually make effort and i commit my heart into getting rid of them. i learn how to be more selfless and do my best to serve and care for others more than my own self. i learn that in serving others, you serve God and you will receive the joy of it and i learn how to be content with whatever you have. although some problems are resolved, there are still many which are present and definitely more will come in the future. im glad that God has manage to conform me and mold me even more and even though i still sin and show my weaknesses, im joyful that God did it to prevent our complacency from increasing. even though i face disappointment and failure, im glad God is there to conform and strengthen me. im glad to know that God, my family and friends are there for me.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

despite everything that is happening, i must count my blessings coz this is God's will and trust in him while putting your best effort in everything you do, for he works things out for gd, not the way you want things to be, but for what he KNOWS is gd for you spiritual growth.

boring day...

2008-06-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

LIST OF THINGS I'VE DONE TODAY
woke up at 10.45
ate breakfast
did emath homework
watch TVB drama
did more emath homework
watched english dramas on sidereel
ate dinner
watched korean drama
practised piano
watched even more TVB drama
blogging...

pretty much the day...

SL at kreta ayer 2

2008-05-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

28th May 08(Wed)
we went to visit 2 senior citizens' houses and helped them cleaned up their houses. although it was tiring, it was really fun!!!

cleaning up windows

view of chinatown

the cleaning bunch woots!!!

24th May 08(Thurs)
spent the day planning the skit for the old folks to watch andn i think we did quite well for making an impromptu skit! :) although i had language barriers with the senior citizens, i really got along with them. and i felt that our hard work paid off as the old folks were really contented with our performance.

25th May 08(Today)
today was the last day of my SL. spent the entire moning playing with the games in my handphone. afterwards we went to chef rictus' house for lunch as he whipped up pasta, pizza and cheesecake for us thx!!! afterwards, jx, alex and i went for one more house-visit and thank God that this uncle was english-speaking. he really looked like an ang-moh in his younger days and he was a linguist! meanwhile, alex broke the mop and it was so funny!!! we tried to prevent the uncle from finding out until jx finally come back with a new one. later, we held a farewell ceremony and we gave the old folks cake. this was a very meaningful SL for me and i find it really different as this was actually the first time i actually see a 1-room HDB flat. i was pity them and feel sry for them, but i nvr actually feel and see how they live in real life. hence it was meaningful and i now truly know what is beyond the tv. afterwards, i went to see mummy and papa off to taxi as they headed for the airport. ok g2g byee!!!

to jx:
bus-mate!!! youve been a wonderful joker that made me laughed incessantly during my first day of morning exercise.l it has been really fun working with you.

to rictus:
our chef! thanks for introducing us to the great char siew rice in chinatown and thank for cooking a wonderful lunch. you make a great cook.

to joel:
i dont really talk to you and i dont know why you dont seem to talk to me either. i REALLY REALLY want to get along and i hope we will communicate more often.

to karyn:
where do i start? so much had happened to us this year. just so you know despite all that has happened, i love you, nurul and pat as much as before. and im doing this for you guys. hope you will understand. SL was fun with you, cracking jokes and criticizing others. im sry for causing you so much trouble, pain and stress. i was too self-centered and should have consider your feelings.

to cherylL:
im really glad that you try to befriend me and give me another chance to start over. if you really let go you dislike towards me in your heart, i hope our friendship will go stronger and if not, i will still show you and chelle love, care and concern. im gonna take all my anger towards you and throw it away and i will forgive your sins committed against me immediately. i will still keep whatever secrets you told me.

SL at kreta ayer

2008-05-27T02:58:00.000-07:00

just came back from service learning. in the morning, we did morning exercise with the senior citizens and jx kept kept on making me laugh :D! she was like cracking jokes and talking abt the exercises until i almost laughed my head off. went to rictus' house for lunch and ate the cheesecake his mother made, it was delectable, but frozen. later we performed for the old folks and gave them a few riddles. the senior citizens were really cute and enjoyable to talk to. ive got the benefit of improving my hokkien LOL!!! ok g2g!!!

tired...

2008-05-26T03:53:00.000-07:00

i feel as if many dislike me in class for i dunno why. everytime i try to commit into a friendship, things just dont out well. i have no idea why ppl dislike me for no reason. i fell out with ppl not over serious wrongs like backstabbing and betraying, but over the small things like being irritating. i dont know why ppl cant forgive me over small mistakes and i forgive them for the big ones they did to me, i dont understand why i can be patient when im being yelled at many times and my friendship with them is broken aft i throw a few tantrums. i dont understand why i am being treated differently from others even though im trying my best to start again. i really want to know WHY!!! what can i say, these are questions where i will find the answer to... eventually. but all i know is that God will work all things out for good if i trust and honor him and i know that he will do what is best for me if i continue putting more faith in him.

2008-05-26T01:14:00.000-07:00

yay!!! today is the end of chinese Os!!! paper1 was moderately difficult but paper2 was SO EASY!!! so i thank God that i made it throughout this intense, nerve-racking Os. i have done my best for the exam during those 3hrs and 45mins, now i just leave everything in God's hands.

2008-05-25T02:40:00.000-07:00

23rd May 08(Fri)
had class party in the morning woots!!! however, i had a lack of appetite so i spent my time cleaning up. afterwards, i came home, mugged on chinese and then went for bus-mate's bday party!!! it was really fun, but the thing i regretted was falling in love with whiskey mixed with root beer and ended up drinking 3 cups of it, and you know the rest... i was still very hype though and really had a GREAT TIME!!!

4F'08 woots!!!

WHISKEY + ROOT BEER = YUMMY!!!

but i have sinned against God and i will know where to stop nxt time......

24th May 08(Yesterday)
went for LTF and attended the anti-gossiping workshop. it was quite meaningful as there were a lot more other consequences to it than i expected. we then watched 'mean girls' and showed how lindsay lohan got into trouble for gossiping. that movie really reminded me of the times in my life where i got into such deep trouble.

25th May 08(Today)
went to Barker Road Methodist Church today to sell funfair tickets. at around 9.30, i met up with trevor, pat and gwen. at 10.30, when the nxt service started, i knew i needed to attend it coz even if it isnt my own church, i knew honoring God was more important. hence, i went for the service and the message was on Psalm 19 and on why God exists. the total sales for the day was gd with a total of $940 woohoo!!! ate waffletown for lunch. k needa eat dinner bye!

2008-05-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

the week so far...

19th-21st May 08(Mon-Yesterday)
ZZZZZZZ... the weather is worse than living in the sauna!!! and the days are SOOO BORING!!!

22nd May 08(Today)
today i went for chinese remedial with aletheia, sarah and weiting. it was kinda boring and i couldnt catch what the teacher was saying like half the time and the rate he was talking was faster than the bullet train. i have to ask weiting to explain whatever he said to me. report book marks... depressing, i drop by 16 positions haiz. aftwards we met joycelyn and then studied in the library for half an hour and joycelyn was crazy AI-ing. later, aletheia went off leaving the 3 of us to go for lunch alone. came back to school and studied somemore. when i came back home, i showed my mother my report book and she said 'i think you studying all by yourself is bullshit!' what kind of crap is that, demoralize your child until like that!!! to add more bad things to my day, i had a pimple outbreak!!! some ppl made fun of me in class...

2008-05-22T02:37:00.000-07:00

Micah 7:9
Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the LORD's wrath,
until he pleads my case
and establishes my right.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness.

another rough week of me, but it is after all the end of the term. and im glad that despite going through friendship probs i still have to thank God for my best friends who stand by me, forgive me of my mistakes and let me start over. im not gonna talk much abt how others do wrong to me, coz im no better than them. i will start judging myself more often from now onwards. Os chinese are nxt mon, gotta CHIONGGGGGGG!

to aletheia, joycelyn and sarah:
thx for being there for me. i dunno what i would do without you guys!

2008-05-19T01:45:00.000-07:00

18th Apr 08(Yesterday)
went to church, lunch and then went to see 三姐 off at the airport. this is the first time i see the budget terminal, and it is isnt as bad i thought it would be. aftwards went to CBC to do chinese homewk. aftwards, i dabaoed pizza home and ate happily.

19th Apr 08(Today)
boring day... woke up at 10, ate leftover pizza for breakfast, did 40 dop, chinese FYS and emath TYS...

you must be thinking that im very shameless to ask for forgiveness and probably think im annoying. but im doing what the bible is telling me in Matt 5: 23-24. i really want to reconcile with the 2 of you coz i dont wanna lose another friend. bitching abt patricia is something i regret doing coz i nvr liked bitching abt my ex-close friends. i havent been bitching abt you and i really want another chance in our friendship, ive avoided problems in a friendship for too long and now i want to face them properly. ive made mistakes but im willing to correct them. ive did my best to restore this friendship, the decision is up to you and God.

2008-05-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

17th May 08(Yesterday)
went for LTF gospel saturday and it was F-U-N-N-N!!!!!! since it was gospel saturday, the message was talking abt the Christian faith and how we cant be superficial and expect everything to be resolved in a snap coz god has a purpose for everything. Games were da BOMB!!! we played a seriously impossible word-search which took the space of the entire A3-size paper and it was THE MOST FRUSTRATING WORD-SEARCH IVE EVER DONE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!! in the next game, we were given a bowl of concoction to taste and smell. we were then supposed to guess out which 7 fruits the concoction was made of. jared was rather disgusting when he tasted it and then spit the seed out on his hand to see which seed the fruit belongs to. the bottom 3 grps at the end of the day were supposed to eat a SPECIAL concoction, and we BARELY escape from the bottom 3... by 1 POINT!!! woots!!! blog abt today later g2g!

2008-05-16T22:28:00.001-07:00

im feeling super vexed!!! im losing all my friends, if it is not due to arguments and conflicts, it is due to my remaining 2 best friends leaving school by the end of this year. i really wish i studied EVEN HARDER for PSLE or studied harder during sec 1 and 2, then i will be able to get into express. at least i will be able to graduate with aletheia, joycelyn and the my beloved choir'mates. they are always there for me these 4 yrs, despite of many conflicts, we been through thick and thin and there is mutual understanding between us. im not close to yilin and jacqueline and im afraid i will be left all alone. i know that i still need to give thanks but the past 4 months 16 days 13 hours 29 mins and 23 seconds has been extremely tough. im drifting apart from most of my friends and as much as im trying to change, ppl are trying to harp on my dark history. even though ive started afresh, the past is really haunting me. but who am i to say anything, im in the wrong. i will just take everything as my fault coz im in no position to judge others when im no different. suddenly everyone just neglects me, so i decided to start talking but then i become even more irritating. everything i do is wrong so and when i start talking less, ppl still show me attitude. CANT I JUST HAVE A NORMAL LIFE?!!!

many faces
beautiful places
where there are rivers filled with daces

its such a pity that what you see is not what you get
for you may be deceived by the human face
it may look like a beautiful vase
but inside it could be a gun case

yet im holding on to frail hope
wishing for a brighter day
knowing that with my faith i will be able to cope
with my fears so that it will be soon allayed

2008-05-16T06:35:00.000-07:00

today in class fellowship i shared these 2 verses with everyone.

Psalm 71:20-21
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.

God put us through trials so we can see how blinded we are by sin. this verse really comforted me throughout the week. im really thankful for the tough journey that im currently going through coz i finally know my sinful/obnoxious folly and at least im learning to change, i learn how to be open-minded to advice, my soul has been finaly restored and even though ppl still hate me due to my wrongdoings, i really REALLY wanna thank them for their hatred, persecution and hypocrisy towards me for i become stronger everytime they hurt me. everyone in the world may dislike me right now but with God's love, grace and mercy im not afraid of anything. btw, i posted a new song.

1)Jennifer Hudson- I am Changing

this song describes how i feel currently, pls read the lyrics. thx!

2008-05-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

im not gna blog abt the week here but all i can say is that it has been rough. on sunday, ive read the bible:

Matt 5: 23-24
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

aft reading this verse, i prayed i asked God for forgiveness. but on monday, things seemed to have worsened, i tried MY ALL to restore the the broken relationships i have with ppl, but they probably think im being annoying/'bhb'. things may seem better but maybe ppl are being hypocritical? i dunno anything any longer...

to God:
how i wish we humans could be as forgiving as you. inspite of the punishments we face, we just repent, reflect, do our best not to repeat the same mistakes and you not only forgive us but also help us start over. help me throughout this trial and may you continue to transform me into the person with want me to grow. ive believe that ive done my best, so pls just do the rest. as soon as your purpose has been fufilled, pls resolve all these problem and may all be well again. however, i thank you for this trial for if im not going through this now, i wouldnt walk closer to you today. i now leave all my burdens, worries and doubts in your hands Father and grant me wisdom to resolve the trials coming my way. Thank you Father.
As i ask for all these in Jesus' name
AMEN!

2008-05-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

from now onwards i will have 2 blogs. the other one is private for ive invited a few ppl to see it. i will blog abt the same things except more private stuff.

P.S 2: another encouraging song

2008-04-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

Idina Menzel - Brave

Don't know just where I'm going
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming
And the air is cold
And I'm not the same anymore
I've been running in your direction
For to long now
I've lost my own reflection
And I can't look down
If you're not there to catch me when I fall.

If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave

All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light
When your life was daunting
But I can't see mine
When I feel as though you're pushing me away
Well who's to blame, are we making the right choices
Cause we can't be sure if we're hearing our own voices
As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay

If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave

And I might still cry
And I might still bleed
These thorns in my side
This heart on my sleeve
And lightening may strike
This ground at my feet
And I might still crash
But I still believe

This is the moment I stand here all alone
With everything I have inside, everything I own
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last time before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave

NO MORE BEING SCARED, NO MORE BEING UNCONFIDENT, FOLLOW GOD'S DIRECTION HEEM!!!

P.S

2008-04-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

to all those who are encouraged by my words:
if you are ever down or took a great fall, remember that you can start afresh. whatever difficulties, guilts, pains or trials you face, leave the past behind, whats done is done, there is no point using all your energy harping on the past, coz it wont only make you more miserable but it will also cause you more problems in the future. instead, reflect on your mistakes, repent for your sins, do your best nvr to repeat it again and start looking towards the future. put all your trust in god, and your soul will be restored. the bible says:

Psalms 32:1-2, 5
1 Blessed is he
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.

2 Blessed is the man
whose sin the LORD does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD "—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin.

hence, trust in the lord and he will restore your soul. a good example of someone who went through great obsatcles is:

MARIAH CAREY

Her album in 2002, Glitter, generated Carey's worst showing on the U.S. chart. Later that year, Carey released the album Charmbracelet. Sales of the album were moderate, and the quality of Carey's vocals came under severe criticism. however in 2005, she made an incredible comeback with The Emancipation of Mimi with the single "We Belong Together"which held the Hot 100's number-one position for fourteen weeks. This showed me that god lifted her up from the dumps and exalted you. The song "Through the Rain" tells me how she persevered with god's trust.

Mariah Carey - Through the Rain

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught
And in pain without anyone
When we keep crying out
To be safe
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find you way home
you can get there alone
it's okay
once you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
Once you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And should they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stand tall and say
Yeah yeah yeahhhh

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
I Can stand up once again
And I'll live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes, you can
You’re gonna make it through the rain.

whatever the circumstances is, no matter how the situation is, just remember to trust in the Lord and he will do wonders. im now going back to my holiday seeya!

LONG HOLIDAY!!!

2008-04-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

privated my blog for a little while but who cares whether i did it or not, im just a hindrance to ppl, no matter how hard i try things just screw up. the more i try, the more things get worse...

to all those who are persecuting me currently:
be careful, im okay with you doing things to hurt me, but i worry for you for you will be in my shoes next time. the is a verse in a bible saying:

Matthew 7:1-2

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

take it from someone who is now getting a taste of his own medicine, paying a costly price of gossiping. you may slander me all you want now but be prepared for the future as something like that will definitely happen to you(or even worse). you will then look back to this time, on how you made fun of me. i may have few friends, i may be well-disliked due to the sins ive committed. however, ive moved on from today onwards, reflected on the obnoxious/sinful deeds ive committed and now look forward to the future. as for the things you done against me, i will forgive you. if you can forgive me, i will be delighted to restore our friendship coz i believe, that all friendships are worth restoring even if i dont wish to do it. im not gonna stop you guys from gossiping and i will not laugh at you if you ever get into the same situation in future. however, i will pray to god that you will stop all the illogical/despicable rubbish you spurt out of your mouth so that your punishment will be lighter. mess with my pride and i will take it as a lesson to be humble but if you mess with my INTERGRITY...

WATCH OUT!!!

my life is now devoted to god, everything i now is for him. in him i will find purpose in this life, and my purpose being here in class. hate me all you want, i will not take it to the heart any longer, im done trying to please man. from today onwards, i will be the person god moulds me to be. my life is now his hands, if i do my god does the rest.